Figgins calls Tina and Will to his office. Figgins recently found out that Tina’s look is called goth – which he automatically associates with vampires. He forces Tina to change her look. Otherwise, she will be suspended. Tina complies, but she’s miserable. She feels that she’s lost her identity.
Figgins: American teens are coming down with an enormous case of Twilight fever – transforming normal children into vampires.
Figgins: But Elvis was a Christian. And he did not possess the ability to turn into a bat!
Tina: My mom won’t even let me watch Twilight. She says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.
Rachel has been snooping around Vocal Adrenaline’s dumpster and has discovered that VA is planning to do Gaga at regionals. Will gets a flash of inspiration. For this week’s assignment, the Glee kids will be doing Gaga. That way, they will help Tina get a new look, and at the same time, beat VA by going all theatrical.
Tina: I know who I am and I’m not allowed to show it. It’s like Communism.
Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It’s true.
Finn gets invited to a surprise party at Kurt’s house. And what are they celebrating? Burt Hummel has asked Carol Hudson and Finn to move in with him and Kurt. Finn gets really upset.
Finn: Is this your way of telling me?
Kurt: If you’re gonna say something, say it loud, right?
Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn sneak in on a VA rehearsal. VA is doing a Gaga number which does not please Shelby because it lack theatricality. Shelby proceeds to show them what true theatricality by singing “Funny Girl”. Rachel walks over to Shelby and introduces herself.
Shelby: Being theatrical doesn’t mean a nuclear explosion. It’s like a quiet storm.
Rachel: Ms. Corcoran, I’m Rachel Berry. I’m your daughter.
Rachel and Shelby have a heart-to-heart talk. Rachel is clearly joyful at meeting at her mom. Shelby, on the other hand, seems uncomfortable. She dismisses Rachel by telling her that she’ll call later.
Rachel: When I was little and I was sad, my dads would bring me a glass of water. It got to a point where I didn’t know if I was sad or thirsty.
Shelby: This was supposed to feel good. We’re supposed to have some kind of slow motion, running toward each other moment.
Puck wants to name his daughter Jack Daniels. Quinn disagrees and tells Puck that she’s glad she’s giving up their daughter so she doesn’t have to deal with Puck anymore.
Quinn: You wanna name our daughter Jack Daniels? It’s a girl.
Puck: Okay, fine, whatever. Jackie Daniels.
Quinn: This is good for you. Now you can go off and be a rock star.
Kurt and Tina get bullied by two football players regarding their Gaga make-over.
Football player: We’re not gaga for Gaga.
The New Direction girls and Kurt show up for practice in Gaga outfits. Mercedes and Quinn spill the beans about Shelby being Rachel’s mother. Rachel is late and shows up in a ridiculous stuff toy covered outfit.
Puck: 5 min have gone by and she’s not singing something obnoxious.
Rachel: My dads are moving my therapist into our spare room.
Brittany: You look terrible. I look awesome.
Finn also gets roughed up by the two football players.
Football player: Being on the team and on the glee club does not make you versatile. It makes you bisexual.
Rachel goes back to Carmel High to talk to ask for Shelby’s help in making her Gaga costume.
Shelby: And ladies, I don’t wanna hear about chafing just because you’re wearing metal underwear. Not my problem.
Finn goes to Will and tells him that the guys, with the exception of Kurt, are not really into the Gaga assignment. Finn accuses Will of always doing what the girls want. Will agrees with Finn. So he allows to boys to do a ‘Kiss’ number. While Finn is in his and Kurt’s shared bedroom, Kurt tells Finn about the bullying and asks him to help him out. Finn refuses to help Kurt and they get into an argument.
Finn: We live in Ohio, not New York or San Francisco… or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren’t fried.
Finn: I don’t understand why you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.
Kurt: What is your problem? It’s just a moist towelette!
Will talks to Shelby about her and Rachel. Shelby admits that she can’t have kids anymore due to operations in the past. Also, she wanted Rachel as a baby, not as a grown-up.
Shelby: I want my baby back. She’s an adult now.
Kurt unveils their new room to Finn. Kurt went all out, decorating the room in a Moroccan-inspired theme. Finn goes berserk when he sees the room. He thinks that Kurt is still in love with him and is only too happy to be roommates so he can play peeping-tom on him.
Finn: Are you freaking insane? I can’t live here. I’m a dude.
Finn: Why can’t you just accept that I’m not like you?
Kurt: It’s just a room, Finn! We can redecorate it if you want to.
Finn then goes after some of the room decorations, calling them ‘faggy’. Burt walks in on Finn’s tirade and stands up for Kurt. He tells Finn that he can’t live with them anymore, even if it costs him Carol. Burt tells Finn that his family comes first.
The next day, Finn tries to talk to Kurt, but Kurt doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. Meanwhile, Puck stands in front of the glee club and talks to Quinn.
Puck: You know what? I didn’t care that my dad was a bad ass. I just wanted him to be there.
Puck: While Jackie Daniels is a great name for a power boat or something, it’s not great for a baby girl.
Puck tells Quinn that he wants to name their daughter Beth and asks to be there when Quinn gives birth. He wants to see their daughter. Quinn tearfully agrees.
Shelby visits Rachel. Rachel knows Shelby is there to say good-bye. Surprisingly, Rachel is not sad about the turn of events. She doesn’t feel anything for Shelby either.
Shelby: So how did your dads come up with the name Rachel?
Rachel: They were big Friends fans.
Shelby: We’re never gonna have anything like that. It’s too late for us.
Shelby: It’s because I’m your mother. But I’m not your mom.
Shelby: Let’s just be grateful for one another… don’t think for a second I’m gonna go soft on you at regionals.
Tina convinces Figgins to let her dress up the way she did by scaring Figgins into thinking that she’s a real vampire.
Tina: ….and Asian vampires are the most dangerous of all vampires.
Kurt gets cornered again by the bullies. When they were about to beat him up, Finn arrives, wearing a red shower curtain dress, and tells them to back off. The rest of the glee club arrive behind Finn and back him up.
Finn: I’m proud to be different. It’s the best thing about me.
Football player: The work of freaks is trying to protect the freak queen.
Finn: We’re all freaks together. We shouldn’t have to hide it.
- “Poker Face”
- “Bad Romance”
- “Shout It Out Loud”
- “Funny Girl”