Jacob: Where does Lauren keep your balls?
Sue: We’ll see you at the prom, butt-chin.
Santana: Prom is like our Oscars.
Brittany: So, I don’t have a date. I’m just going to dance. Then all your dates are going to ignore you and come dance with me. So your dates are really my dates.
Mercedes: I just wanted to be Cinderella. Just for one night.
Rachel: You don’t have to go to prom alone. You can go with me.
Mercedes: That’s even more depressing.
Tina: Getting a thumbs up from him is like getting a thumbs up from Joan and Melissa Rivers.
Lauren: I look like a lemon meringue pie.
Brittany: I think you look delicious.
Puck: So are you in? My ass-istant bad ass?
Rachel: I’d like your feedback. Tell me if I was brilliant or fabulous.
Jesse: I was majoring in show choir.
Jesse: I traded love for a fourth consecutive national championship.
Rachel: All I ask is that whomever I choose, that you be as supportive of him as I’ve been of you and Quinn even though I’m dying everyday inside.
Santana: I’m the law and order prom queen.
Brittany: This is really confusing because this is a chicken’s house.
Kurt: I would like to graduate high school knowing how to make some sort of pate.
Brittany: I’m going to go to prom by myself and really work on me and dance with other people’s dates.
Burt: I looked liked Tony Orlando.
Blaine: Was that a designer?
Finn: Dude that rocks, it’s like gay Braveheart!
Burt: Exactly, I think you’re just trying to get attention.
Kurt: What’s the point of dressing up?
Kurt: Maybe nobody has been harassing me this week because nobody cares.
Jesse: I couldn’t even get a job as one of those singing waiters in Johnny Rockets.
Jesse: They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don’t know why or even what a recession is, but it’s my understanding that we’re in one.
Rachel: He’s so smart, I can’t believe he flunked out of college.
Rachel: You can be like the show choir whisperer.
Mercedes: Quinn, you look hot. Finn, you look handsome. Now get lost.
Puck: Torah Torah Torah! It’s go time!
Sue: Now we can get all HMO up in your Glee hole or you can tell me who put you up to spiking the punch bowl.
Sue: He’ll get expelled and you’ll be one mohawk short at nationals.
Sue: You’re the worst POW ever. John McCain is rolling over in his grave right now!
Santana: You suck so bad Quinn Fabray I won!
Santana: Just because I hate everyone doesn’t mean they have to hate me too.
Brittany: It’s just a stupid crown. You can buy it at the Party Store.
Santana: As soon as we get to New York I’m bailing to live in a lesbian colony, or Tribeca.
Kurt: They can’t touch me. They can’t touch us.
Santana: Do I smell like a golf course?
Brittany: If you would’ve embraced the awesomeness that you are, you would’ve won.
Sue: Why didn’t you tell me that before? I was about to pull out a couple of your molars.
Figgins: Ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 prom queen, Kurt Hummel.
Kurt: Eat your heart out Kate Middleton.
Isn’t She Lovely
Jar of Hearts
I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You