Will: Classroom to classroom, door to door, we pushed this stuff like crack and so will we.
Will: We just need to sell more taffy.
Artie: Britney was the only person we could find on short notice. We bribed her with Dots.
Sue: Terry schuester, shrew.
Terry: I’m also an assistant manager.
Sandy: You’re hunky and I’m what they call predatory gay.
Sue: We’ll target their fragile sense of self-esteem.
Sue: the league of doom
Sue: Sandy how do you manage to enter a building without setting off all of the fire alarms?
Rachel: You are a terrible spy!
Artie: Really, with your size, you could’ve stayed in the air vents for days.
Sunshine: I’m such a better singer than everyone else so I know how it feels. I’m all alone at the top. Also, I’m really short. So, even when I’m with a group of people, it feels like I’m wandering alone through a forest.
Puck: I say we give her a chance. You owe her, Rachel. You sent her to a freaking crack house!
Holly: I am both awesome and unavailable at the same time.
Rachel: Can you tell us the definition of a neglected artist?
Will: Someone whose brilliance isn’t always appreciated
Rachel: Someone like me.
Rachel: You don’t understand. Celine [Dion] isn’t a neglected artist. I am.
Lauren: You’re always singing about R.E.S.P.E.C.T. but respect isn’t something you can ask for, you have to demand it.
Emma: At what age are you allowed to look back on your life with nothing but regret?
Will: One day you’re going to find a way to beat this thing. Until then, I’m here for you. No judgment.
Rachel: Stars make demands the way babies make messes in their diapers.
Holly: I had giant hands so a lot of people thought I was a hermaphrodite but that wasn’t true. Other people said that I was a Nazi sympathizer, that was true.
Holly: Tomorrow we’re going to do Catherine the Great and her pet stallion friend so come early!
Dustin: Those aren’t eggs in those fallopian tubes. They’re priceless pearls.
Dustin: This hairline is 85% my own and my sperm count is off the charts.
Dustin: Let me tell you something about Will Schuester. That guy has tiny baby hands. Seriously, it’s weird. Once I saw him try and pick up a Big Mac, he couldn’t do it. He had to eat it layer by layer. Teeny, tiny, wee baby hands.
Will: They’re big enough to knock your teeth out.
Jacob: My curly hair in Cairo twitter account helped bring down Mubarak. Technology has allowed us to be brutally cruel without suffering any consequences.
Holly: I spent three years sending hate mail to Debbie Gibson until she wrote me back and said the stress of my letters was giving her alopecia.
Holly: Why don’t you turn some of that jeering into cheering?
Dave Karofsky: I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl.
Mercedes: I just don’t get it, why are you a bigger star than me?
Sandy: You just got poked. Poked by the Pink Dagger.
Rachel: That’s the problem. I would rather be a star than be liked.
Blaine: (to Sandy) You’re a horrible person.
Sandy: You sound like my court-appointed therapist.
Sue: Now get back in there and question the whole purpose of art education.
Holly: I told you, Will. I live the glamorous life of a substitute teacher. No commitments.
Sandy: It’s drug money. But it’s actually a nice way of laundering it.
Sandy: Aretha’s my kryptonite.
Sue: In my hour of need, Honey Badger, I come to you. Your time has come.
All by Myself
Ain’t No Way
I Follow Rivers