Sue: [Madonna is] the most powerful woman ever to walk the face of the earth.
Those were Sue Sylvester’s opening lines in this episode that pays homage to one of the greatest artists in the world. Sue even managed to blackmail Principal Figgins into playing Madonna songs over the school’s PA system.
Sue [to Figgins]: I’m instating a new policy in which we play Madonna over the PA at all hours, everyday.
Sue[to Figgins]: What you call insanity, I call inspiration.
Sue [to Figgins]: Do you not understand the blackmail process and how it works?
Sue also incorporates Madonna into her Cheerios routines.
Sue[to the Cheerios]: What would Madonna do? Well, the answer to that question would normally be: dating a younger man.
Sue[to the Cheerios]: A la Madonna, I’ll no longer acknowledge that any of you have last names.
Sue[to the Cheerios]: As Madonna once said, I’m tough, I’m ambitious and if that makes me a bitch, that’s what I am. Pretty sure she stole that line from Sue Sylvester. No, really. I said it first.
Sue[to the Cheerios]: Somewhere on the English countryside, in a stately manor, Madonna is weeping.
Sue[to the Cheerios]: You think this hard. I’m passing a gallstone as we speak. That is hard!
Meanwhile, Will is concerned that the guys of Glee are disrespecting the girls. He calls them sexists, chauvinists, and misogynists. So he gets inspiration from, of all people, Sue Sylvester and her Madonna tribute. He assigns the Glee kids to sing Madonna songs.
Finn: What’s a misogynist?
Brittany: When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.
Rachel is debating whether she’s ready to sleep with Jessie.
Jessie: It’s not big deal.
Rachel: For a girl it is.
Jessie: You tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll make sure I’m fastidiously groomed.
She asks for advice from Emma and the Glee girls, but they weren’t very helpful.
Rachel[to Emma]: I really don’t feel comfortable talking about this with Rabbi Greenburg. Aren’t you a guidance counselor?
Quinn[to Rachel]: Would you please stop talking? You’re grossing out my baby.
Santana: She’s like a cat in heat. She talked about him yesterday and practically sprayed the choir room.
Emma is also on the same dilemma. But she gets inspired by Madonna and decides to take control of her body and do the nasty with Will.
Sue[to Emma]: You don’t deserve the power of Madonna… simply put, you have all the sexuality of all those pandas down at the zoo, who refuse to mate.
Santana goes after Finn again. She offers to pop Finn’s cherry.
Brittany[to Santana]: The way to get a man to follow you forever, take his virginity. Madonna wrote a song about it.
Santana[to Finn]: You look as a sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. It’s exhausting to look at you.
Out of Rachel, Emma, and Finn, only Finn goes through with it. Rachel and Emma decide they’re not yet ready.
Jessie[to Rachel]: Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.
Will[to Emma]: You took ownership of your body when you said you didn’t wanna sleep with me… and then ran out of my apartment with no shoes on.
Santana[to Finn]: I’ve noticed it takes about 20 times until a feeling of accomplishment really kicks in.
What’s the deal with Sue and Will’s hair? Well, we finally have the reason why Sue is so pissed off at Will’s hair.. but not before all the nasty hair jokes (soooooo funny!)
Sue: I thought I smelled cookies from the tears of elves weeping that live in your hair.
Sue: Just like your hairdresser has inspired you to look absolutely ridiculous.
Sue: I just lost my train of thought because you have so much margarine in your hair.
Will: Enough with the hair jokes. By the way, how is the Florence Henderson look working for you?
Sue: Dep is a hair gel. And once again, I am making fun of your ridiculous hairdo.
Sue: I make fun of Will’s luscious, wavy locks because I’m jealous. There. I said it. (Finally! She admits it!)
Kurt and Mercedes find out Sue’s hair dilemma and offers her a Vogue makeover.
Kurt: Mercedes is black, I’m gay: We make culture.
Emboldened by her newfound confidence, Sue decides it’s not her that needs reinvention.. it’s everybody else. And she starts with Kurt and Mercedes by making them Cheerios. Kurt and Mercedes accept because they feel they have more opportunities to shine there.
Jessie St. James transfers to McKinley High and joins New Directions. He says the move is due to his love for Rachel.. hmmm.. but we’re still not sure of his real intentions.
This episode totally rocked! Way, way better than last week’s episode. I couldn’t tear myself away from the TV set. Sue looked amazing in her Vogue video. What fantastic Cheerios routines! WOW! And of course, all the Madonna song numbers by the Glee kids were sooooo great! Super episode!
Other quotes from this episode:
Puck: I am not down with this. I like being a dude.
Sue: I’m gonna leave constant reinvention to Madonna.
Sue: My parents were famous Nazi hunters, so they weren’t around a lot.
Sue: Madonna belongs to me and I will not be copied. It’s in my contract.
Emma: Lindsay Lohan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings.
Artie: If you’re planning on getting all up on this, you’re gonna have to make some changes.
- “Open Your Heart”
- “Burning Up”
- “4 Minutes”
- “Crazy for You”
- “Like a Virgin”
- “Like a Prayer”
- “What It Feels Like for a Girl”
- “Express Yourself”