Ok, first of all, let me explain the heading. The “Hell-o” episode is actually still included in Season 1. It’s Episode #14. But since it’s been advertised as the Season 2 premier, I included both in the heading to avoid any discrepancies.
In the first 45 seconds of the episode, Sue manages to get herself reinstated as the head of the Cheerios by blackmailing Principal Figgins.
Sue [to Will]: I won’t be burying any hatchets, William, unless I get a clear shot to your groin.
Mr. Schu assigns the kids to sing songs with “Hello” in the title. They have to win at Regionals, otherwise, glee club is over.
Will: When you answer the phone, what do you say? Mercedes: What up?
Artie: Who this be?
Kurt: No, she’s dead. This is her son.
Sue is still hell-bent on her revenge on Will and the annihilation of New Directions. She reemploys the services of her two remaining spies, Santana and Brittany. In order bring down the glee club, Sue goes after Rachel, by going after Finn, who is kind of dating Rachel. Santana and Brittany ask Finn out on a date. Finn breaks up with Rachel, because he wants to find his inner rock star first before he delves into another relationship.
Rachel [to Finn]: I’m the only person in your life that knows you, and accepts you for who you are.
Rachel [to Finn]: I just see you for you who you are. Unlike you, who just see me as this silly little girl who made a fool of herself in her first Glee club audition.
Fresh from her heartbreak, Rachel meets Vocal Adrenaline’s lead male vocal, Jesse St. James, who’s super hot and incredibly talented. Rachel is smitten, and they become a couple.
After going out with Santana and Brittany, Finn realizes he wants to be with Rachel. But Rachel tells Finn that she and Jesse are already an item.
Sue [to Santana and Britney]: Ladies, I misjudged you. You may be two of the stupidest teens I ever encountered. And that’s saying something. I once taught a cheerleading seminar to a young Sarah Palin.
Rachel [to Finn]: We know our Romeo and Juliet romance will be an issue. But our true respect for each other’s talent will carry us through.
Will finds out about Rachel’s relationship with Jesse and he goes to Carmel High to confront Shelby Corcoran, Vocal Adrenaline’s coach. Seems like Rachel and Jesse are not the only ones feeling the heat, as Shelby and Will are also wildly attracted to each other and have a steamy make out session. But halfway, Will stops and tells Shelby that he’s a mess due to his pending divorce and relationship with Emma.
Shelby [to Will]: Are you gay? Because most of the show choir directors I make out with are gay.”
Shelby advises Will to take some time alone and to figure out what he really wants.
Shelby [to Will]: Thank you for the coffee. And the making out? It was kinda hot.
Meanwhile, Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie confront Rachel regarding her relationship with Jesse and force her to choose between glee or Jesse.
Kurt: Their motto is “aut neca aut necatus eris”, which loosely translates to “murder or be murdered.”
Rachel: I know who I am, and how many chances at this am I gonna get?
Rachel: Good luck winning without me.
Kurt: Everyone is replaceable, even you.
Sue feeds on Rachel’s fear of ending up alone by inviting her to a fictional McKinley High Old Maids’ Club.
Lady Wrestler: To my team, I was a legend. But I relish this victory in solutide.
So Rachel continues to date Jesse on the sly.
Rachel: Because if I give myself to you, and it turns out that you’re just playing me, I might die. Not literally, but emotionally.
Jesse: I wanna introduce you to Jesse. The guy who’s interested in you. The guy who would never hurt you.
Will and Emma’s relationship take a turn for the worse when Terri hints at Emma that Will is still in love with her subconsciously.
Terri: What, you, with your three times a day shower and cannot sleep well at night unless your shoes are all in row?
Terri: Don’t bother sleeping with my husband tonight. You’re already screwed.
So Emma tells Will that she wants to put their relationship on hold until Will can find himself.
Emma: We were naive. I think sometimes we spend so much time with the kids that we start acting like them.
Emma: I think that you need to spend some time alone. I do.
Some other funny quotes from the episode:
Brittany: Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?
Shelby: I want you to look so optimistic, it could cure cancer.
Brittany: Sometimes I forget my middlle name.
- “Hello, I Love You”
- “Gives You Hell”
- “Highway to Hell”
- “Hello Again”
- “Hello Goodbye”